Maybe we thought we were too hip to have this happen, but we’ve reached that parental milestone when the kid’s sense of style and appropriate clothing veers from parental approval. Now what?
Recently, Plum went shopping with her grandmother and returned with a few new outfits. Of course, she wanted to model her clothing for us to oooh and ahhh over. And yes, she looked stunning as she spun about and posed. But through our parental eyes, she also looked too old and too exposed.
We are not a fan of skinny jeans for youth. It is a style that is far too revealing. We don’t want our 10 year old in tight jeans that show off her newly developing curves. We also disapprove of the off shoulder, or one sleeve, or midriff style of shirt that seems to be everywhere. We don’t find our kid’s exposed belly or shoulder to be okay when we’re trying to teach her about modesty and encouraging innocence for as long as possible.
But these styles are currently our Plum’s favorite fashion choices. She wants the skinny jeans. She especially loves the stretchy, spandex-y jeans that look like denim but aren’t really. She loves the kickback to Flashdance shirt style. And of course Plum makes these choices because they are front and center displays in Target and the clothing choice of her teen star role models.
So do we squash her style and force her into our vision? Is there a middle ground?
Thankfully, Plum also has her own eclectic style that you’ll find on no store display ever. We love her independent, eclectic flair. And we try to encourage her to continue to make her own choices. We want Plum to find her own style, rather than follow what the Mall dictates.
Mostly we are very liberal with our kids when it comes to fashion. Plum recently dyed sections of her hair in shades of blue and purple. We loved it! And we didn’t hesitate in granting our permission once we discussed with her the permanence of the dye and the chemicals. The difference for us is that one choice – exposed midriff- is more eroticized than the other choice- hair color. And that first eroticized choice is dangerous ground for a tween to walk.