picture and text from Harriet, You’ll Drive Me Wild
We hate to admit it, but sometimes in the TRHQ…. stuff goes down…buttons get pushed…strings snap. We do our best to remain calm when situations or conversations aren’t smooth. But sometimes, like when a third spill occurs while we are still cleaning up spill #1 and #2, we feel very close to the edge of our sanity.
You need to be able to defuse most situations without blowing your top. So we present our guide to Pulling It Back Around:
Hugs: Never underestimate the value of a hug. It reassures the person you are interacting with that you love them. It calms you down. It reminds everyone that everything will be OK.
Sing a Song: We find that a few lines from The Message, or Nobody’s Perfect, or any other song you enjoy, helps lighten the mood. Singing can produce some giggles in the midst of a tense situation.
Switch gears with the person pushing your buttons: Suggest that you read a book together, or find a snack, or go for a walk. Do anything to move away from the situation causing angst.
Pins and Needles, Needles and Pins: Find a mantra, silly or serious, that will help you calm down and remember what’s important.
Walk Away: Occasionally, the best thing that you can do is give yourself a minute or two alone. If all else fails, lock yourself in the bathroom for a few seconds.
Remind Your Kiddo That You Love Them, Even When They Are Breaking Stuff:
-Calvin- So you’re not mad that I broke the binoculars?
-Dad- No. Pretty soon you’ll be wrecking my car.
Everyone gets angry at some point. It is natural. What matters is what you do while angry and how you discuss it after the heat has settled.
Breath and Focus: A single incident doesn’t have to make it a bad day- unless you let it.
A great book that helps capture the experience of losing it and bringing it back around is, Harriet, You’ll Drive Me Wild, by Mem Fox and Marla Frazee. Our favorite line from the book is, “Sometimes it happens, just like that.” And we reference it often when discussing a tense situation with our kids.
PS- After all has returned to normal, don’t forget to apologize. Our experience is that a good apology goes a long way.