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Pen Pal Persuasion

March 26, 2013 by admin

By Brenda Winter Hansen

I still remember when I got my first official pen pal in fourth grade. The details are fuzzy, but I think it was through a magazine. I desperately hoped my mysterious pen pal would herald from somewhere that wasn’t a small Midwestern town of 10,000. Maybe France? Maybe Borneo? Of course I’d forgotten to take language into consideration, or logistics for that matter, so I was pretty disappointed when my new and exotic pen pal was from…Ohio. Left to my own devices, I carried on a half-hearted, six-month correspondence with a total stranger who never stopped being one. I guessed she was probably just as disappointed.

But wait, now the good pen pal story! I had a couple cousins (one from each side of the family) who were about my age and lived nearby, but in different directions. We got along great, so writing back and forth was a natural extension of our relationship. Granted, it was mostly adolescent drivel.  But those letters were a place we could share crushes, hopes, dreams, and grand schemes. I think the best part was that they already knew me.

Fast forward to my eleven-year-old daughter. All on her own, she’s developed an avid correspondence with a classmate who lives less than a mile away. She said she loves getting news from her friend and the cool stamps. As a parent, it doesn’t hurt to keep an eye on the letter frequency. Don’t nag, but give a gentle reminder if it seems as though your kid has let it drop. Get some inexpensive notecards, a couple designated pens, (decorative!) stamps, and a box to hold everything. Stickers are pretty awesome too. Reminding her how much she enjoys receiving a letter is usually enough to get my daughter to keep her end of the deal.

One thing she taught me is the importance of short letters. I still get overwhelmed when I sit down to write a letter because I think I have to write a book. My daughter’s correspondence is so successful because the letters are short and sweet. Genius! The other way to keep it engaging, is to encourage drawing and decorating. Sometimes they send each other cut out pictures they find amusing, or even an article from a favorite magazine. Keeping the expectation low will keep the satisfaction high of both sides of the paper trail.

If you want to take the pen pal adventure one step further, encourage your child to write to an adult (who is also interested). Scout someone out, maybe a neighbor or an elderly person.RAbbbit Again, keep the expectations low. Postcards are great. Two sentences and, boom, put it in the mail slot. My daughter has started to letter swap with local children’s author/artist Nina Laden (http://www.ninaladen.com/) and it’s lovely to hear them both be excited about it. Nina says that she loves to, “see and “hear” the thoughts that make kids curious and engaged.” She added, “I think it’s important to encourage our children to write letters because putting pen to paper is such a different experience than the non-creative collection of digital detritus we pass for communication these days.” I couldn’t agree with Nina more.


3 Comments

  1. Tegan says:

    I love this! I made a friend in 3rd grade, then moved the following year; we kept in touch with letters and a yearly visit. We’re still friends almost 30 years later– college roommates, bridesmaids in each other’s weddings, and the kind of friends that time and geography cannot separate. I credit the outpouring of our souls on the page! Bonus: we’re both writers now. 🙂

  2. admin says:

    What a great story, Tegan!

    Anyone else have a great pen pal story to share?

  3. admin says:

    Tegan, don’t forget you can join in with the Rambler conversation on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ThriftyRambler We’d love to see you there!

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