RSS Feed

Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

  1. Vaccination Situation

    April 27, 2014 by admin

    “Even When the experts all agree, they may well be mistaken.”

    — Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970

    We are angered and saddened by suggestions of late on Facebook that we are: stupid, crazy, and potentially child-abusers. Many have proposed that our kids shouldn’t be allowed to see other kids or be able to attend public schools.

    These judgments are by people who would claim otherwise to be friends. We’ve known many of them for decades. We’ve worked shoulder to shoulder with some of these folks on common goals for the common good. But they don’t hesitate to imply that we are awful, dangerous people for not readily accepting everything they proclaim as fundamental truth.

    IMG_0978Who put you in charge?

    All of this is because we have the audacity to suggest that everything Science tells us about vaccinations might not be stuff we choose to wholeheartedly accept.

    We’re not even saying Science is wrong. It could be totally right, and we could still choose not to do it anyway.  People are allowed to make all sorts of decisions for themselves these days. Ain’t that something else?

    Science has proven that eating meat is harmful. It is fact that smoking is unhealthy. We know that science has shown too much TV or electronics for children is bad. Science tells us exercise is critical to living longer and healthier. But many, many people pick and choose through all of these scientific facts to find what works best in their family, or for them individually.

    At the end of the day, everything boils down to the choices we make. Are some people really suggesting no one should be able to make a choice, no matter how significant? Consider abortion, or cancer treatment, or end of life decisions.  We embrace everyone’s ability to make these choices, even when we ultimately disagree with their decision .

    Think about how the value of pi has changed over time. Science said it was one thing for centuries and then Science declared the value was something else. Examine how Science proclaimed for hundreds of years that nothing could travel faster than sound. Ummm. Oh yeah…except for light. So now light is the fastest.  Until we find, you know, whatever goes faster.

    There are no Permanent Irrefutable Facts in the universe.   Demanding that your Science position is Right and could never possibly be wrong is not very sciencey.

    We aren’t suggesting you shouldn’t share your beliefs. We only request that you stop bullying and degrading everyone that dares to think differently. It is entirely counterproductive to intelligent debate.

    Category Rambler Ramblings | Tags: | Comments Off on Vaccination Situation

  2. Snark Attack!

    April 23, 2014 by admin

    IMG_0008

    Our latest activity for the Thrifty Rambler Kindness Project

    We’re sure most of you have been in a similar situation. You’re in line at Target and some man is barely holding it together while a cart full of runny-nosed kids are screaming bloody murder. You think to yourself, “What is wrong with him? Why did you drag your kids out here? Why don’t you leave?” Or you’re at the park and a woman is absorbed with her phone while her charges terrorize the playground.  You think, “What a horrible person. Here are a bunch of future bullies. What is wrong with people?”

    TRMom & Dad admit that we don’t always have a sympathetic reaction to witnessing random or heated interactions of families we don’t know. We’re sometimes too quick to judge and criticize. And we know that this isn’t productive or kind. We’re working on it.

    TRMom & Dad need to remember that what we’re watching unfold is a moment in time. We have no idea what led up to it or how it will resolve.

    Think about those days when you were less than your best, either publicly or privately. Would you want someone to walk away thinking that was as good as you can be?  Or that your kids should be taken away from you, or that you’re violent, or mean? Of course you wouldn’t want that to be their conclusion.

    So we’re trying to be more understanding. We’re working on recognizing when someone might need an encouraging word, a friendly smile, or our space in line to make a quick escape from a store. Or perhaps we simply need to stem our negative thoughts for the moment and realize that this is someone’s really bad day. And that is all that we are witnessing. The single occurrence doesn’t make someone a bad person.

    We’d like to encourage you to do the same. Work this Kindness.  And perhaps slowly, we’ll all become more of a supportive community.

     

     

    Category Kindness Project | Tags: ,, | Comments Off on Snark Attack!

  3. The Rule of Threes

    April 18, 2014 by admin

    Our house gets a little disorganized. Sometimes we go hard all day and the place gets trashed. Or it’s just little things that pile up over time.   And finally, the place needs to be neatened up.

    Cleaning and organizing is easy enough to do when the kids are well occupied.  Frequently they are- Bluey’s busy inventing something, or making a superhero outfit. Plum’s reading or drawing. Or they are playing together happily, and we TRParents are able to swing into action and take care of a few home tasks.

    IMG_5530Occasionally we can even ask that the kiddoes play together for a minute, while we run a vacuum or sweep a room. It’s great when that happens.

    But more often than not, our kids want our attention more than they want us to clean. Or what they need is to snuddle on the couch with us and read. Or sit on the floor and build a Lego something-or-other together.

    How are you supposed to get your place really clean?

    In this situation we try to follow our “Rule of Three.”  Each time we get up to do something quick- get a fresh cup of coffee, take a potty break, fetch a snack- we take a few seconds to put 3 things away. We take some dishes to the kitchen. Or bring a handful of laundry to the hamper. Or we quickly shift some junk mail to the recyclable bin.

    These are little things, each one isn’t much of an accomplishment.  But over the course of the day they make a huge difference in the clutter levels in our home. All done without any little one noticing that we’ve been cleaning. The kiddoes think we’ve been with them the whole time.

    And really, we have been.

    It doesn’t make up for the deep clean that every house needs at some point.  Hopefully on that blissful day when the kiddoes are playing happily for hours. But the “Rule of Three” helps us feel like we are on top of the mess, three things at a time.

    Category Rambler Ramblings | Tags: ,,,, | Comments Off on The Rule of Threes

  4. Nothing But Star Wars

    April 9, 2014 by admin

    IMG_1682Our TR Family is huge into sci-fi.  We have robots and Transformers everywhere in the house.  We have dozens of spaceships and astronauts or aliens to fly them.  We have whole bookshelves devoted to Sci-Fi.  We have dozens of sci-fi comics to read. 

    And naturally, we have lots of Star Wars stuff from the TIE fighter specs hanging in the dining room, to the stormtrooper head mug that holds our garlic.  And then there are the cards, action figures- you name it.

    But we have held off introducing our youngest kiddo to the StarWars movies due to their violent nature.  We don’t allow gunplay in the house, and we review all TV shows and movies for intense violence.  As much fun as StarWars is, we all know it is rife with gunplay, explosions and death scenes.

    We’re not sure our Bluebird is ready for that, just yet.

    We’re beginning him with the Star Wars Radio Drama on tape.  Bluey loves cassette tapes, and the radio show has all the action and drama of Star Wars without the visuals.  We like that he can learn the story first, and see it later.  We like that he can imagine his own visuals to go along with the story he’s hearing.  Bluey’s already well acquainted with the plot of the movie now.  When he sees it for the first time, he’ll have a leg up in dealing with the content.IMG_1648

    Even though we’re very slowly moving towards the actual viewing of Star Wars, we’re greatly enjoying building Bluey’s knowledge of the StarWars universe.  And his love of the story is already enormous!

    Category Parenting | Tags: , | 1 Comment

  5. Bluey Gets a Gameboy

    March 28, 2014 by admin

    We are huge fans of the unplugged universe.  We love going outdoors, creating art projects, playing board-games, and jigsaw puzzling.  And then there are the endless options of building with legos, tinkertoys, kinex, blocks, playmobile, etc.IMG_1641

    So we have been careful all along to limit the exposure our kids have to TV, computers and video games.  We don’t want our kids to get sucked into a premade world and forget that they can create their own experiences.  We don’t want our kids exposed to images and sounds more shocking and intense than appropriate for their age.  We don’t want them to forget how awesome it is to run around outdoors and see the natural world up close.

    But at the same time, we understand the usefulness of knowing how the plugged-in world works.  We don’t want to raise kids who can’t surf the net, or who can’t deconstruct the real purpose of advertising that flies at them.  We need to teach our kids how to use the wired world as a tool for information, communication, and for fun.

    So we are finally allowing Bluey to explore some electronics and gaming.

    His starting place?  Bluey has inherited his sisters’ old Leapfrog (which he calls his Gameboy), and a small handful of non-violent and/or educational games.

    This system allows him a chance to learn that there should be limits to how much time you spend on video games.  Since the games remember where you are, you don’t need to ‘finish this level’ or whatever.  When time is up, it’s up.  Your game will be there when you get back.

    So far, although Bluey is excited by his video games, they remain a tiny segment of his daily life.  They haven’t taken the place of reading, and creating, and running around outdoors.

    We’ve taken a big step, but we think it’s in the right direction.

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on Bluey Gets a Gameboy

  6. Dare You To Be Who You Will

    March 21, 2014 by admin

    “Darlin’ don’t you go and cut your hair” – Pavement

    Our kids are pretty confident when it comes to experimenting with their style and appearance.  And we do our best to support their exploration.  There are a handful of times that we’ve refused to let Plum or Bluey out of the house due to a “look” they have mashed together.  But that is a very rare occurrence.

    Bluey has a wild mass of untamed curls that spring forth from his head.  Bluey loves Skechers line of Twinkle Toes shoes, and a lot of other things thatIMG_3266 are marketed to girls: Lego Friends, My Little Pony, and the Little House on the Prairie series.  But he also adores Transformers, comics, and Star Wars.  We have NEVER once suggested to Bluey that certain books or products aren’t meant for boys.

    Plum is experimenting with makeup, hairstyle, and clothing.  She bounces from the influences of Punk, to a sort of preppy ballet look, to a schleppy freshman sweats-&-t-shirt style.  She has experimented with hair color (even wigs!) and Plum loves bold lipstick and eyeliner.  There are times when her final results are a bit of a hot mess, but Plum’s beauty always shines through.  And isn’t the mess part of the path to finding out who you are and what you like?

    As our children get older, we find ourselves at a crossroads of parenting.  Do we continue to allow Plum and Bluey to freely express who they are and experiment with what they like?  Will they be bullied and ridiculed?  Is it our job as parents to nudge them into “safer,” more traditional and accepted choices?

    Both Bluey and Plum have already encountered judgmental people.  And not just among their peers.  Adults frequently refer to Bluey as “she” and then cast disparaging looks at us when corrected.  He has had friends tell him that his loved toys are for girls.  Plum has had friends ridicule her choices and try to pressure her to change.  She has had adults discourage her pursuits in reading and science.

    Will we reign in our kids?  Should we?

    No.  TRMom and TRDad rise up like wild animals in defense of their brood.  We will not squash our kids’ spirit.  We will not conform our family to society’s standards.  We may continue to doubt ourselves at times.  But we hold strong.   Our kids are so very proud of themselves, and we are proud of them, too!

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on Dare You To Be Who You Will

  7. Make It A Double!

    January 31, 2014 by admin

    IMG_1066

    “Can I have a drink, please?”

    As parents, one of our jobs is teaching the kiddoes the best way to ask for stuff.

    For example:

    When Bluey goes to sleep at night, we snuddle in bed with him and help him get all relaxy and sleepy.  He sometimes falls all the way asleep before we leave.  But on other occasions, Bluey’s still very much awake.  Either way, we give him a hug and a kiss on our way out of the room. Recently, Bluey decided that if he was awake, a hug and kiss weren’t enough.  He wanted more.  So Bluey began to whine and complain that he hadn’t been hugged.  It was very frustrating.  Here we are hugging you, and you don’t even notice?  But then we realized that what he wanted was more hugs.  And who can deny a small boy a hug?

    So TRDad had a conversation with Bluey.  He explained that asking for something in a demanding, unappreciative way is unkind.  Even when what you want is as simple as a hug.  So we settled on the expression, ‘Doubles.’  Now, when Bluey feels like he needs another hug, he states: “I need a Double!”  It’s a nice, sweet, and kind way to ask for a little extra love.

    This same process works for all sorts of requests- milk, snacks, mittens, playtime- everything can  be set on a path of asking politely.  But you need to take the time to sort it out with your kiddo when you aren’t stressed and annoyed.  Pick a quiet time, and start a conversation: “So you know how you want me to leave your toys undisturbed when you go to bed?  Let’s talk about that…”

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,,, | Comments Off on Make It A Double!

  8. I’m Not Used To Seeing You Fly Solo

    January 26, 2014 by admin

    IMG_1361TRDad and Bluey spend all week together.  They go biking, swimming, and shopping.  Every errand that must be run during the week, Bluey and TRDad do together.

    This produces humorous responses from our many friends in shops around town, when due to an unexpected day off for TRMom, or when a weekend quick trip for TRDad sends him out without his constant young companion.

    “I’m surprised to see you with out your son!”

    “Where’s Bluey?”

    It’s neat that so many people associate us with our kids.  We love it.  So many parents we meet, and hear about, work very hard to establish that they have a unique identity- that they are more than Moms, Dads, Parents.

    We wonder why?

    TRDad doesn’t mind the constant association of father and son as a pair.  Part of the joy of staying home with Bluey has been to experience so much of the world with him, and to be able to spend so much time with him.  If more people know TRDad as ‘Bluey’s Dad’ more than as anything else, what’s wrong with it?

    We don’t think your identity disappears if you are constantly referred to as “So-and-so’s Mom (or Dad).”

    When Bluey is older, he’ll remember going everywhere with TRMom and TRDad.  We think that’s pretty cool.

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on I’m Not Used To Seeing You Fly Solo

  9. Dinner Dilemma

    January 10, 2014 by admin

    We used to proudly declare that our children “will eat anything” you put in front of them.  They loved exploring new tastes and textures with little-to-no hesitation.  At some point, everything changed.

    We’re not sure why it happened and it was definitely a gradual shift that, at first, we mistakenly ignored as a fluke.  But we can no longer turn a blind eye to the new attitude our children bring to the dinner table.  Every meal is greeted with sneers, yucks, and pokes of a fork without ingesting much of anything.IMG_1303

    So what to do?

    We’ve tried our best to cook meals that we think are palette pleasing and kid-friendly while not compromising our homemade and vegetarian ideals.  But more often than not, we find ourselves opening yet another BPA-free can of Annie’s Organic Bernie O’s pasta.  It is a trend that doesn’t sit well with TRMom and Dad.

    It is amazing how hard it is to nudge these pint-sized food critics into eating a simple, homemade meal.  Even when they have helped prepare the meal, they are not interested.  There is just no reasoning, no pleading, no coercing them into lifting a fork.  And not wanting our kids to be hungry, we cave into making yet another meal that they declare satisfying- like the Annie’s O’s.  It is a vicious circle.

    Help this TR family find peace at meal time once again.  How do you combat a picky eater in your home?

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,, | Comments Off on Dinner Dilemma

  10. Essential Reading

    January 5, 2014 by admin

    124566371_-avengers-vol-2-marvel-essentials-9780785107415-stan-leeJust past his fifth birthday, and our Bluey is well-versed in the stories and characters in over 150 issues of the classic comic: The Avengers. How did he come by this encyclopedic knowledge of the exploits of Thor, Hawkeye and their friends? Bluey loves the action and intrigue of the on-going saga.  He worries about characters that are missing or captured and left on a cliff-hanger. Although he is still learning to read, he has experienced all the excitement as TRDad has read these sequential stories to him, on the couch, with full sound effects.

    Tip: Reading comics aloud might take some practice.  We point to each panel to help Bluey follow the action. It helps the adult keep track of things too! 🙂

    How did we afford to be able to allow our young child to read all these expensive collectibles? By purchasing super-cheap collections!

    The Marvel Essential series allows you to pick up 25 or so sequential issues of you or your child’s favorite characters for about $14.  (DC Comics produces a similar line called Showcase, if your faves live in that universe.)  Printed in black and white on newspaper stock, Essentials allow you the opportunity to read whole story-lines and really get into the subtleties of a complex super-hero world, without laying down hundreds of dollars on antique comics that you’ll worry your child will tear or spill chocolate milk on.  If you are a fan of comics, or reading, the sight of a young child flipping pages in a big, fat comic is priceless!

    Tip2: Practice your sound effects!  They really help get everyone into it!

    We chose the Avengers because it was one of TRDad’s favorite titles growing up, and because it contained a number of characters that Bluey had already heard of: Iron Man, Hulk, Thor… Plus, since the Avengers has been published for over fifty years, there are a lot of issues of Essentials to work through.

    By starting with a title that was originally published in the 60’s, we avoided having to deal with graphically violent content found in many current hero books.  But that doesn’t mean the comic is totally worry free.  While gun-play and murder are less common in the older books (which were published under the Comics Code Authority- a sort of self-censorship guideline established by major publishers in the 50’s); the books are not without their own issues. Sexism and racism are not uncommon, so you’ll need to have a plan for discussing this as you go.

    Since comic book villainous goals range from small robberies to kidnapping to taking over the universe, you’ll have plenty of chances to talk about characters making good and bad choices. We remind Bluey that the Avengers are trying to do the right thing, trying to help people; but even they get confused, get angry and make bad decisions.

    Bonus!  Marvel comics have a very high vocabulary level.  While reading about Kang trying to take over the world (Again!) you’ll be teaching about momentum, or molecules, or the space-time continuum!

    If you have dreams of sharing your childhood joy of comic reading with the younger set, the Essential series might be just the books you need to start a kid on a comic obsession.

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,,,, | Comments Off on Essential Reading

Older Entries
Newer Entries