“Can I have a drink, please?”
As parents, one of our jobs is teaching the kiddoes the best way to ask for stuff.
For example:
When Bluey goes to sleep at night, we snuddle in bed with him and help him get all relaxy and sleepy. He sometimes falls all the way asleep before we leave. But on other occasions, Bluey’s still very much awake. Either way, we give him a hug and a kiss on our way out of the room. Recently, Bluey decided that if he was awake, a hug and kiss weren’t enough. He wanted more. So Bluey began to whine and complain that he hadn’t been hugged. It was very frustrating. Here we are hugging you, and you don’t even notice? But then we realized that what he wanted was more hugs. And who can deny a small boy a hug?
So TRDad had a conversation with Bluey. He explained that asking for something in a demanding, unappreciative way is unkind. Even when what you want is as simple as a hug. So we settled on the expression, ‘Doubles.’ Now, when Bluey feels like he needs another hug, he states: “I need a Double!” It’s a nice, sweet, and kind way to ask for a little extra love.
This same process works for all sorts of requests- milk, snacks, mittens, playtime- everything can be set on a path of asking politely. But you need to take the time to sort it out with your kiddo when you aren’t stressed and annoyed. Pick a quiet time, and start a conversation: “So you know how you want me to leave your toys undisturbed when you go to bed? Let’s talk about that…”
