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Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

  1. The Image Chronicler

    December 13, 2013 by admin

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    All experiences offer up memories.  But memories fade with time and most people crave a record of an event.  These modern day recordings tend to be photographic:  class pictures, graduation pictures, wedding albums, baby albums, selfies, etc.

    Someone has to be behind the lens.

    In our family, TRMom is usually the one snapping the most images of each adventure.  This role evolved from TRMom’s dislike of pictures that include her, and TRDad’s willingness to jump into all aspects of any adventure that may intimidate TRMom.

    But it means that TRMom’s image is typically missing from a lot of family experiences.  And even when we manage to strike a balance, there is still only one parent in the picture.  Our full family shots are very few and far between.

    We know a lot of people enjoy professional photo shoots of their entire family.  Honestly, that just isn’t our thing.  Not only would we be out money that we can’t really afford to allocate to a photo shoot, but we know we’d end up boxing the majority of the pictures.

    So instead, we take ownership of identifying a “chronicler” of events.  It is an important role that is thoroughly enjoyable.  Our family knows who was included in our experiences.  And that is enough for us.

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  2. Happy Elf!

    December 1, 2013 by admin

    IMG_1213Be the Elf!

    This is one of our mantras for the holiday season.  From the middle of October until after New Years is a very busy time for us: holidays, birthdays and travelling abound.  Kids get excited, and over-tired.  There are events to plan, and gifts to wrap, and letters to write.  All this while work, school and life go on as usual.

    It gets Busy!  Bedtimes get altered, nasty colds show up at inopportune moments- someone could easily snap!

    Be the Elf. Be the Elf. Be the Elf.

    When we start to feel the stress coming on we try to, “Be The Elf.”  Santa’s elves are joyful.  Happy.  Mirthful.  They remember that it is better to give than receive.  What better gift to give than an unexpected smile during a stressful moment?full

    Happy Elf!

    Our Elf mantra helps us pull back from the frantic fray, and remember the True Meaning of Christmas: joyful times with family and friends, generosity to family and strangers, love, Love, LOVE!

    So when the holiday season starts making things tense, we urge you to “Be The Elf!”

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  3. That was My Fault: Words you should say.

    November 27, 2013 by admin

    “Everybody makes mistakes.  Everybody has those days.”Photos-of-Old-Car-Accidents-2

    We reference these lyrics regularly in our home because kids need to realize that things don’t always work out.  Things happen, both big and small that can throw a seemingly lock-solid plan into disarray.  We want our kiddos to realize this possibility.

    As Plum and Bluey grow, we find we also need to utilize an additional phrase:

    That was my fault.

    This is a simple, factual acknowledgement of responsibility for an error.  It’s a phrase we could stand to hear more often from co-workers, friends, and leaders– as well as our own kids.  It’s the step after the simple “I’m sorry”, where you claim ownership for what went awry.  So we’re working to use it at home when appropriate, in the hope that our children will catch on to it.

    “Sorry, Bluey!  It was my fault for promising we’d play outside today when I hadn’t checked the weather forecast.”

    “Sorry Plum!  That was my fault for not watching where I was going and bumping into you.”

    CB063014We think it is important to teach children to not just be able to handle adversity, but to know it’s okay to admit that sometimes it’s our fault when things go wrong.  You should just own it.

    And then you should move on.  Lingering over what went wrong doesn’t do anyone any good.

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  4. Guns And Gunplay

    November 13, 2013 by admin

    We recently had an experience at the park:

    royalty-free-gun-clipart-illustration-225847A young boy of about five, that we just met at the park, has a transforming toy firearm.  The toy is gleaming white and silver.  It switches from a toy gun to a toy knife.  The boy holds his toy gun with pride and points it directly at Bluey’s head.  The boy shouts out “Bbbbbang!  Bbbbang!” And pretend rounds are fired into our son’s head.  The boy declares with glee, “You’re dead!  You’re dead!”  and he proceeds to push Bluey to the ground and then turns to fire on his next victim.  The mother of this child is on the perimeter of the play area.  She shouts out to her son, “If you hit anyone with that gun, it is put away.  No second chances.”  Her son continues his pretend slaughter of playing youngsters.

    Children have participated in variations of “good guy vs. bad guy” for centuries.  But when we allow them to run rampant through a playground, pretend killing children with enthusiasm and getting physically aggressive with each other, we are teaching them those behaviors are acceptable.  If you are going to let your kids play with guns, we think that there should be some very clear rules about acceptable behavior and where the toy is allowed.

    We are very anti-gun, regardless of gender.  You won’t find a toy gun in our house.  We support gun control and our children know that they are not allowed to play with guns.  We believe that when you allow a toy gun into the mix, you are saying that guns are okay.  It is not a message we wish to pass onto our children.

    But we understand that not everyone shares our views.  We don’t prevent our children from playing with people that think differently.  And we try to teach them how to deal respectively and intelligently with anyone that presents opposing positions or behavior.  But this playground experience left us a bit stunned.

    What would you have done in this situation, regardless of your viewpoint of gun control?

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  5. Perspective

    November 3, 2013 by admin

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    Yes, we’re a month out from Thanksgiving.  But you don’t need a traditional holiday to take a moment to sit back and reflect on why you are grateful for the life that you live.

    If we’re honest, we can probably all say that we have dreams we know won’t actualize, places we long to visit, time we wished we had more of, disappointments that still taste bitter.

    That is life.  Please don’t linger in the muck or judge yourself by your worst moments.  There is so much in the simple day-to-day that is worth celebrating.

    Here are some teensy and some huge things for which we are grateful:

    • Coffee – The smell!  And knowing that warm mug will soon be craddled in your hands.
    • Children’s laughter – It is contagious, true, and pure.
    • Frozen pizza – Seriously!  It is cheap and indulgent.
    • A paycheck – Sure, we live paycheck to paycheck.  But with a tight budget, we have just enough money to support our family.
    • A home – ‘Nough said.  Many don’t have a place to settle.
    • Playgrounds – Free access to fun, exercise, and the outdoors.
    • Libraries – Free access to education and fun.
    • Gardens – Cheap way to feed your family and support farm-to-table.
    • Love – Right?  It makes the world go ‘round.
    • Music – Inspiring, often free, and entirely enjoyable.
    • Critters – Unconditional love and mostly entertaining.
    • Health – Not to ever be taken for granted!

     

    Taking a moment to remember these things, no matter how minor they might be, helps us to focus on life worth living!  And to acknowledge that we are indeed, very lucky to be here.

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  6. The Best Ten Minutes Of The Day

    October 26, 2013 by admin

    Our Bluey leads an active life, and we do all sorts of things during a typical day.  We have our share of routines- like reading our ‘Dog’ books in the morning, or settling in for some Lego building.  We have mellow times and crazy times.

    But in many ways, the best part of any day is at the end.  After reading a few comic books, brushing teeth, and putting on pajamas, Bluey is ready.  Usually, TRMom gets him into bed, and reads one more book before Bluey begins to settle down.  After snuggling with TRMom for awhile, TRDad takes over and helps the young Bluey find the sleep zone.IMG_0544

    Laying there in the dark is just the best.  We’re usually quiet, although sometimes Bluey still has a few things to discuss.  But soon enough, he is dozing off and quietly breathing.  Sometimes his eyes are still open, shining in the dark.

    Bluey drifts towards sleep.  TRDad listens to Bluey breathing and thinks about him- he is such a great kid.  This moment of quietude is TRDad’s most treasured of the day.  It’s the snuddle time that Bluey misses on nights TRDad isn’t there to cuddle with him.  We hope he remembers these moments, as he cruises towards adulthood.  We know he won’t want to settle down like this forever.  Eventually, he’ll put himself to bed; as his older sister does now.

    As much as we want him to recall visiting the St. Louis Arch, or climbing at Devil’s Lake, or a hundred other fun and interesting things we do; we hope that he treasures these quiet times, too.

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  7. All Of Your Failures Are Training Grounds

    October 20, 2013 by admin

    “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

    Oscar Wilde had it right, we think.  Mistakes are supposed to be learning opportunities.  We don’t serve ourselves (or our children) well, if we shy from the chance to make mistakes, and the chance to shine when we succeed where others told us that we would not.

    This is our goal: to teach our kids that failure isn’t shameful.  It doesn’t mean you’re defeated, and doesn’t equal a weakness in character. In fact, failure may be the very source of character.  We’re not suggesting that anyone should ignore failure.  We encourage you to change the way you talk about it and react to it.

    If failure means you need to pull yourself back up, and try, try again—then failure loses its negative power.  It becomes something positive and more powerful.  Think about it: who do you think learns more, a student who fails the quiz and goes home to study, study, study and returns to get a C on the Test? Or the student who got an A on the quiz and an A on the test with no effort at all?  Success is that much sweeter, when you know you worked your ass off to get it.

    Too many people in the world tell kidsIMG_0513 they can’t do things, and shouldn’t try.  To them, we say: “Butt out, and give the kid a shot!”  Let them try, and see what happens.  They may surprise you.

    The strength and character needed to overcome obstacles and defeats in life comes from making mistakes, and bouncing back.  We encourage our kids to take on challenges and see what happens.  Explore.  Try it.  See what happens.  Then take the knowledge you gained into your next attempt.

    “I pick myself, I dust myself off, and start all over again.”

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  8. Confidence and Conversation

    September 26, 2013 by admin

    Our son will talk to anyone about anything.  He is not intimidated by adults.  Plum is equally engaging, but takes a while to warm up to people.

    Our kid’s willingness to engage has opened many doorways for them and afforded them some very unique experiences and friendships.

    IMG_2139When they saw a maintenance person working on a fountain at a garden, they ran up to him for a closer look at his project.  It turned out that the maintenance person also tends the Koi in the rose garden.  He invited our kids to feed the Koi their breakfast.

    When Bluey got chatty with a man in the Domes gift shop, it turned out that he is their marketing director.  He told us of some “secret” new displays in the Domes and of a brand new bike path over a train yard on the nearby property.

    Our kids have good friends at the Hyvee Madison #1, the Green Owl Café, the Victory Café, Oregon NAPA Auto Parts, and more.  IMG_1816These are folks that greet our kids by name and speak to them as equal participants in any conversation.  They add a tremendous value to the growth of our children and we are very grateful.

    Many parents hold their kids back from talking to adults, especially in settings where there might be some expectation of “knowing your place.”  This reservation harkens back to the adage of children should be seen and not heard.  We say break that cycle and allow your kids to deepen their relationship with their world.

    Category Rambler Ramblings | Tags: ,,, | 1 Comment

  9. Fighting Gender Stereotypes

    September 4, 2013 by admin

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    We don’t discourage or prevent our children from enjoying a toy, book, or an article of clothing simply because it isn’t being directly marketed to them.  Gender stereotypes don’t fly in our family.

    Recently, Bluey decided that he needed light up sneakers.  The “boys” shoes were rather boring and centered on a few pin point lights surrounded by character drawings of IMG_1844Thomas the Train or SpiderMan.  The “girls” shoes were impressive!  They were covered in sparkle designs and numerous lights.

    Bluey wanted the “girls” shoes and who could blame him?  He didn’t see them as “girl” shoes, he saw them as “cool” shoes.  So we purchased a pair of Skechers TwinkleToes light up sneakers, loving the bliss and pride emanating from our little son.

    Fulfilling Bluey’s 4 year old desires is relatively easy since we have decided to homeschool.  We know that Bluey won’t risk being taunted or bullied every day over his choices, as would be more likely in a public school environment.  We’d ultimately allow his whims regardless, but only after much more discussion with Bluey about what he might face.

    Marketing is absolutely culpable in enforcing gender stereotypes.  As examples, LegoFriends are being separated into a completely different aisle from the standard Legos in Target stores and bookstores have sections of “books for girls” and “books for boys.”  When corporations draw a gender line, they make it that much more difficult for everyone to enjoy their products.

    Obviously, our small family will not single-handedly overthrow thousands of years of gender stereotyping.  But we won’t give in to every suggestion made by marketers and corporations about what is appropriate for our kiddoes.  And we encourage you to do the same, whether or not your child is home-schooled.  Look for chances to challenge gender expectations!

    Category Parenting | Tags: ,,, | 1 Comment

  10. Liking Biking

    September 2, 2013 by admin

    IMG_1836Our family is very energetic.  We get outside and do things all day long, year-round.  We’re active and we’re tired at the end of the day.  But still TRMom and TRDad sometimes feel that we should be ‘exercising’ more.  We could be in better health, or drop a few pounds, if we could just get in a few targeted cardio-type workouts.

    In our childless years, it was all a lot simpler to fit in some serious exercise.  Both TRMom and TRDad were very active back then.  TRMom would go for long power walks, and used a stationary bike at home. TRDad picked up his fancy-pants road bike and entered various biking events, even a stray triathlon here and there.

    But now that there are children about, the exercise time has dwindled.  For one thing, we like to keepIMG_1030 the pack together.  We refuse to put our kids in daycare just so we can hit the gym.  It can be an expensive practice and just doesn’t fit the way we like to have our family function.  Plus, we’re pooped at the end of the day.  We spend all day working, running about with our kiddoes, and exploring the world.  The idea of hitting the gym once the kids are asleep doesn’t seem feasible.

    We have found that by waiting it out a bit, we solved this dilemma.  After trying various schemes that allowed one parent to get their exercise on, we discovered the best method was to exercise with our kids. We keep the pack together.  We ride to the store, to various restaurants, and just cruise around the neighborhood.  Now that Bluey has his own bike, he holds his own as the family sets forth on a bicycle adventure.

    You’ll see us out there, exercising together, exploring our world.

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