Our 3 ½ year old, Bluey, doesn’t usually sit at the dining table for the entire meal. And 10 ½ year old, Plum, picks at her food or refuses to engage in meaningful conversation. We TR parents are quick to eat, barely enjoying the flavors of our homemade meals, so that we can occupy Bluey and release Plum from her “prison.” Admittedly, our meal times are mostly a mess.
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We are slowly learning that the solution to our mealtime woes is to learn to accept this “mess.” A time will come when Bluey has more patience for meals. And Plum will eventually have a more even temperament and an acceptance that every meal can’t be take out from her favorite pizzeria. And we parents will eventually get to linger over our food as we enjoy our kids’ stories.
It’s a strategy we’ve employed before: De-problem the Problem. Facing increasing stress over finding the perfect solution, sometimes (when it’s not an issue of health and safety) it is best to just let it go. This has worked for our family on topics ranging from potty training, to sleeping patterns, to dealing with our pets.
We have faith that things will come back around and we’ll eventually get to enjoy the festive family meals we know are possible.
Until then, we find meaning in the daily attempts. We don’t give up and allow each family member to grab their own food and then eat it where and when they wish. We gather our family together for our meals. A great majority of the time we ask for (and get) their help in preparing what we eat. We try to engage in conversation at the dining table. We don’t plan every menu item around the ever changing taste preferences of our children so that they continue to be exposed to all types of foods. We try and try and try again. Eventually, our mealtime experiences will shift to match our goals.
How do you keep your family happy at the dining table?