We are very aware of the dangers associated with irresponsible co-sleeping. We are raising 3 wonderful children and have had various levels of success and frustrations with co-sleeping. We know this choice isn’t for everyone. Honestly, it isn’t always for us either!
Our Bluey has been a co-sleeper since infancy. He made it clear from a very early age that he wanted nothing to do with his bassinet or his crib. After a few stumbling, and loud, attempts to convince Bluey that there was nothing special about sleeping with Momma and Daddy, we realized we had a significant decision to make as parents. Do we force Bluey to adjust to a crib or do we allow him to bed-share?
The internet is rife with warnings on co-sleeping. There is an active campaign in Milwaukee discouraging co-sleeping. It should be obvious that if you are drinking heavily, using drugs (legal or illegal) that impede your decisions or cause drowsiness, suffering from severe depression, or are otherwise unable to think clearly – YOU SHOULD NOT BED-SHARE!
You have to dig deeper into current research to unearth the benefits of co-sleeping. We’d also recommend the book, Beyond the Sling, by Mayim Bialik. We have had many discussions about whether or not we wanted to co-sleep, or continue to bed-share, with Bluey. Would it interfere with our sex life? Would he be in bed with us forever? Would Bluey grow up to be confident, independent, and well adjusted?
The great majority of our experiences with Bluey and co-sleeping have been wonderful. It made breastfeeding for about 17 months far easier. And there is little that can compare to waking up to your little one reaching out to pull you closer while murmuring, “Come back to bed, Momma!” The conversations that we have with Bluey as he drifts to sleep are priceless. And he is an extremely confident, independent, well adjusted boy who possesses an amazing desire to explore his world.
We should note that we aren’t trapped in bed at 7pm because Bluey is asleep. When he was very small, a firm queen-sized mattress on the floor, with a bed gate on one side, kept him secure and snug when we snuck from the room to finish up our evening activities. And the same is true now, but with a raised bed and no gate. Bluey also has his own bed and his own room should he express the desire to use either. A great majority of the time, he naps in his own bed in his room with no complaint.
It has taken this long to speak openly about co-sleeping as most of our friends snub their nose at this practice, as well as at a lot of our other parenting choices. We have been accused of helicopter parenting on more than one occasion. And we mean “accused,” as there was nothing friendly about this label being tossed out in conversation.
After 3 kids, there is only one major thing that we know beyond doubt: only you know what is best for your child. And if that is co-sleeping, more power to you!
I loved co-sleeping with my kids. It was the only way I could return to work and still parent and work effectively.
My kids are much older but even as a teenager and a 3rd grader. crawling into Mom’s bed is probably the best comfort when things are not so happy. We have never been shy to talk openly about it. and friends and family who snub their noses at it have had their objections shrugged off by it.